Coffee
Coffee is a character found in the same screen of Dinners's bus stop along with Omelette. They serve no purpose for the story, but interacting with them will reveal an amusing conversation between them and Omelette, where Coffee argues for the implantation of communism in Picnic, while Omelette argues for capitalism.
Dialogue[edit | edit source]
Coffee: Why are you reading that?
Omelette: ...Huh? I'm waiting for transit.
Coffee: Sure, but why are you reading that?
Omelette: It's not that bad. It's interesting political theory.
Omelette: Have you read it?
Coffee: I have. It's garbage.
(interact again)
Omelette: What's wrong with new ideas?
Coffee: Nothing at all.
Omelette: You can`t just dismiss it. It addresses actual issues.
Omelette: Like, there`s plenty that works right now, don`t get me wrong.
Omelette: Shared worker profit is functional, government controlled-property, all that...
Omelette: But it SUCKS if you want to start your own business
Omelette: "Fairness" is great, but all that red tape also prevents innovation.
Coffee: Sure, I agree.
Omelette: So? Shouldn't we do something to improve it?
Coffee: I think we should abolish money altogether.
(interact again)
Omelette: Don't tell me you're one of those...
Omelette: How do you imagine society functioning without money?
Omelette: You're gonna barter for every slice you order?
Coffee: No.
Coffee: You create a shared storehouse of all goods and products.
Coffee: Everyone contributes to that storehouse to the extent of their ability,
Coffee: and takes to the extend of their need.
Omelette: Wow, sounds real simple.
Coffee: It is.
Omelette: What if someone decides to steal it all for themselves?
Coffee: Then they pit themselves against all of society.
Coffee: They wouldn't win.
Omelette: What if someone burns down the storehouse?
Coffee: You wouldn't actually keep it all in just one place.
Coffee: We can deflect and theorize all day...
Coffee: I'm just saying, it would work.
Coffee: There's a lot of things to figure out.
Coffee: But ALL systems of government have things to figure out.
(interact again)
Omelette: I'm not convinced
Coffee: Because you're believing garbage.
Omelette: No, it's because it doesn't make sense.
Omelette: Where's the motivation? Why would anyone do anything?
Coffee: The existence of money doesn't fix existentialism either.
Coffee: But in a moneyless society, you're free to explore that on your own terms.
Coffee: Without the demand for profit keeping you on a treadmill.
(interact again)
Omelette: Society would never just transform like that
Omelette: Money solves too many problems too well.
Omelette: I'm telling you, this theory is sound!
Omelette: The issue is that workers have too much power right now.
Omelette: Like, seriously, why should workers share profit equally?
Omelette: People who actually START businesses should profit from their good ideas.
Omelette: Then you could have an economy driven by people's innovation.
Omelette: "Capitalism!"
Coffee: That's seriously the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Coffee: A successful business would consolidate its wealth to just a few people.
Coffee: So you would end up with a tiny ruling class exploiting everyone's labor.
Coffee: And only lucky rich people would ACTUALLY be "free" to have ideas.
Coffee: The rest of us would be stuck working for them.
Omelette: ...
Omelette: Well it's just a theory.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Coffee's conversation with Omelette implies that Picnic is a socialist nation.
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